


I Regret Everything- Except You, You Can Stay

by Louffox



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Bar, Bars, Binge Drinking, Carnes and Barter, Drinking, Excessive Drinking, Howard-typical shoplifting, M/M, accidentally married, blackout - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25730491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louffox/pseuds/Louffox
Summary: Barnes wakes up with a wicked hangover and a shiny new accessory.
Relationships: Commander James Barnes/Howard Carter (Rusty Quill Gaming)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	I Regret Everything- Except You, You Can Stay

**Author's Note:**

> "we accidentally got drunk married, carter/barnes"  
> my friends are big brain and please thank them for this
> 
> timeline? what timeline? we doing ambiguous happy place folks

Barnes woke to his own bad breath and too many bedsheets, faintly overheated and sweating. He tangled his toes in the offending cloth and kicked them down, trying to get more air on his chest, his stomach. He thought about rolling over-

-thought about last night-

-opted to stay still for a bit. In case moving set off whatever hangover he was in for. He didn't feel ill or wrung out yet, but from experience he knew that might just be because he was lying down and staying still.

He didn't even remember going to bed last night. He... they'd been at that bar and he'd won quite a lot of pool, and people were buying him drinks to try and get him to lose, and he'd opted to.... he had partnered with someone who was just as good. He had.... they'd won a lot, he remembered celebrating, and seeing the top shelf whiskey come down.

He pushed the sheets down further, and his toes touched something alive.

He sat up.

Nope, that was a mistake. His headache immediately made itself apparent, and the whole room swayed like a vessel rolling over a breaking wave sideways.

"Mmmnn," said the thing in bed with him, and he blinked the spots from his eyes and saw Carter there.

Oh.

Well. That was fine. They'd been together for a few weeks now, slept together often, though Carter hadn't moved in with him yet. Barnes still wondered whether Carter actually liked him, or just liked the big coat and all the other big things he had. He was very salacious and flirted with other men, and that was fine- he'd not drawn a line around their relationship, whatever it was, and though he liked Carter a lot, he was old and cold enough to know better than take a bed partner too seriously and let himself fall as deep as he wanted to.

"Do you still feel like a winner?" Barnes mumbled, giving the mostly buried shoulder a pat.

That's when he noticed the ring on his finger.

"Oh hell," he moaned, and nudged Carter harder. "What did you steal?"

"I regret everything," was the only response.

"Really, Carter, get up here and look at this. I think this is actual gold," he said, pulling it off and looking it over. "This looks real expensive. Did we rob a jewelry store last night? I don't remember anything after winning the billiards title and the nice whiskey. We didn't just go right home?"

"Dunno." He still didn't move. And then- "Did you say a  _ jewelry store _ ?" He sat up and his eyes fell on the ring Barnes was holding, and he let out a soft breath. "Oh hello, pretty. Let me-"

"Howard, your finger."

They looked and saw a matching gold ring on Howard's finger, and only then did Barnes' hazy sluggish mind realize what finger it was, what finger he'd taken the ring off his, what the significance of all this was.

His head went from tired and slow to rapid and panicked instantly.

"Oh bloody hell. Oh christ. Oh no."

"What? What?" Carter asked irritably, giving him a look. "Are you that worried about stealing? Look, even drunk, I am a brilliant-"

"Did we get married last night?"

As he thought about it harder, a few memories came back. Laughing and staggering down the street after... after being kicked out for winning so much. Deciding they needed to celebrate, Carter stopping in front of a jewelry store window and saying they deserved crowns, Barnes scolding him and turning around to find Carter already somehow on the other side of the glass, not finding crowns but some beautiful rings-

_ "We can't wear these, they're wedding rings. We're not wedded." _

_ "Well then, let's get wedded!" _

_ "Thought we just sleep together." _

_ "No, moron, I love you." _

_ "Thank hell, I love you too." _

_ "So then... let's just get married!" _

_ "We can't just-" _

_ "Look, leave it to chance. If we walk past a church on the way to the inn, we get married." _

_ "... alright _ "

Of course they had walked past a church. A church of Aphrodite, no less.

"How could they just marry us like that?!" Barnes cried. "Can't they tell if a marriage is a drunken mistake or-"  _ or actual love, _ he realized, cutting himself off as he parsed the exchange they'd had again.

_ "No, moron, I love you." _

He'd said that.

Drunk.

Had he meant it?

Carter was scrambling up and out of bed, hopping to find his trousers, his boots. "I can- I can get this fixed, I can see about settling this. We don't- I'm- I'll put this right, I've got it."

Barnes sat back and looked at him. At some point he'd snapped into maximum shifty mode, now unable to even look at Barnes, scrambling around with an urgent and guilty energy. He didn't think he'd ever seen Carter take something so seriously before- not robbery, not fights, not jail, not threats on his own life. But this? Of all things, this was what made him be serious?

"Howard, hang on."

He froze, holding one boot, jacket on one arm, and stared at the boot in his hand.

"Are you alright?"

The stiff, jerky nod at the boot didn't seem like a yes to Barnes.

"Just- hold up. What's going on? We just got married after a night of drink, its no big deal."

"Oh, do you do this often, then? How many people have you drunkenly married?" Carter snapped.

Barnes blinked. Oh. "You're upset."

"I'm hungover."

"No- well, probably, but.... you're actually really upset about this."

"I'm not-"

"You are. Please come here."

Carter begrudgingly stepped closer to the bed, and Barnea sat up, sitting on the edge and gently taking his hands, taking the boot and putting it on the floor, wrapping his fingers around Howard's, pulling him close to stand between his knees.

Howard still couldn't meet his eyes, staring down at their hands.

"Why are you so upset about this?"

Carter's words came out in a rush and a whisper. " _ BecauseIdidn'twantittohappenlikethis _ ."

"You didn't want... what to happen?"

Carter was suddenly squeezing his hands, holding him tight like he was afraid he was going to fall away.

"I didn't want our relationship to be a drunken joke, I didn’t want a marriage to be a mistake, I didn’t want to say I love you when I was trashed and remember half of it in the morning."

"I said it first."

Carter finally met Barnes' gaze, head jolting up. In his eyes was curiosity, surprise, intensity, hope.

"I said it first. You don't remember? You weren't sure, and I said 'No, moron, I love you'. I didn't say that because I'm drunk."

Carter leaned down, curling over him. Around him. "Say. It. Again."

"No, moron, I love you."

Carter closed his eyes. Took a deep breath. Barnes couldn't help but lift his chin and close the small distance, bumping his lips against Carter's. He felt them press up into a small smile.

"I didn't mean the moron bit."

"I know," Barnes said happily.

"I love you too."

"I love you."

"I love you. But maybe... we do annul the marriage? Return the rings? Do it right, after a suitable amount of time, when we're sober?"

"Mmm. Yes, no, yes."

"I'm returning the rings."

"This one is mine, you can't take it. You can return yours."

"Howard."

"Don't you love me?"

"I- yes. I do."


End file.
